Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
