it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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