Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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