Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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(704): View more from North Carolina

you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.

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