Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
