I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Can you bring me the toilet please
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