she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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