Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
