dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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