i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
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I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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