WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
