She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
