should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
