Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
a search helicopter?!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
