I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
