Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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