I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
