Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
