I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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