My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this boner is exhausting
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
