just survived the first fart of the relationship.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize