I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We got so high we made milksteak
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
sex in a hospital.. check
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
