Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
