Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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