do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
