There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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