my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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