I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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