There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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