some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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