im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
