it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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