all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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