I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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