She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
