saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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