ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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