five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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