I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
