Whod you bang
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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