ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
