Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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