i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
