I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
