I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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