I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
