so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need a burrito and a hug.
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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