Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize