Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
