she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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