he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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