giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
