you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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