a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
