And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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