Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize