we're blogging at a bar
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
