She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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