Grow some girl-balls and come out already
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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