Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
