I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize